Contrary to what you might think/read/feel my dating relationship education course called THE SYSTEM is not a pickup book nor is it a method to roll a conquest game on every woman you run across. It is actually a coaching book designed to make you a better man - the type of man she wants to keep for the long haul - the type of man that is capable of being in a long-term relationship with a good woman. Here are some things you should never want women for:

*One-night stands
*A way to stop being lonely
*Completing your life (thanks for putting that stupid concept out there "Jerry Maguire")
*Increasing your status among friends, family, co-workers, etc.

Before you think I'm this naive guy not living in the real world (because what guy doesn't like one-night stands or the feeling he gets when his friends say 'your lady is smoking hot') please realize that it is not me being out-of- touch but me understanding how ultimately things work in the real world and how the wrong reasons lead to the wrong results in most cases.

I've studied all the great thinkers on human nature - Robert Greene, Machiavelli, Eric Hoffer, Mark Twain (and more) and I can tell you that ultimately, yes, we do things because of selfish reasons - self-interest if you will - so I do understand that the whole component of being in a long-term relationship with a woman does have elements from our more base emotions in it.

However, what I'm talking about is your END GAME. If you keep pursuing one-night stands then all you do is become that rat on a wheel continuing to run faster with no destination - because ultimately that "pleasure" need has to be scratched over and over and over and over again - it's never going to be enough - it's always onto the next conquest.

I don't know any "player" that's truly happy and generally they become bitter when younger, faster, stronger "players" replace them in the game.

As far as not being lonely or having her "complete you," one of the most unattractive quality thousands of women have told me they find in a man is NEEDINESS.

How are you ever going to be in a good relationship with her when you can't even exist in your own skin unless she's there? Are you going to be joined at the hip when you get her? Is your life that empty that only she can save you from your miserable existence?

You better find a way to be okay with you because we all come into this world alone and we leave it alone - and it is NOT having her or not having her that makes you unhappy but it's YOU that makes YOU unhappy because you control your thoughts.

Status increase? Dumb.

Remember everyone comes at things from their own self-interest and whatever "compliments" you get by being with her (outside of possibly mom, dad or your grandpappy/mommy) is going to be either false praise or veiled (or not so veiled) envy/jealousy.

We always get in trouble when we think we "need to keep up with the Joneses" - in your case you want to have the beautiful brunette on your arm because that means you arrived in whatever false world you think you need to be in.

JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW and tell me what you think or ask anything you'd like - thanks for reading!