Hi Gordy,

Wait a minute here. You’re telling me that you’re married and that Maddie is married? That means that you have to get divorced and she has to get divorced. Then she has to move to the United States and become an American citizen. You have a lot of work to do here! I hope you realize what you’re involved in, my friend!

The reason Maddie took your breath away is because you’re miserable with your wife and she can’t stand the sight of her husband. Anybody would look good to you, and anyone would look good to Maddie. That’s what’s going on here, Gordy.

You say that you’re devastated and empty when Maddie isn’t with you. That’s too bad. But do you realize that you’re committing adultery? Rather than commit adultery, get a divorce from your wife and go and marry Maddie. It will last about four months if you’re lucky, then that will be over with too!

I’ve got news for you, dude. There’s no way you’re going to be in friendship mode with Maddie. You and Maddie are doing nothing but lying to each other. You’re way past the friendship mode. In fact, there shouldn’t be any mode at all! You shouldn’t even be seeing this woman because she’s married and you’re married. 

Whether or not you’re miserable, you have a contract with your wife and Maddie has one with her husband. Let me explain something to you: “THE SYSTEM” IS NOT ABOUT HOW TO COMMIT ADULTERY. My book is all about how to find a good woman and keep her.

Gordy, you don’t want to hear Maddie’s side of the story. It doesn’t matter which side of the story you hear anyway. Get it through your head – SHE’S MARRIED. To you Psych majors, that makes her completely off limits. And like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “If you love her and want to be with her, how come the two of you aren’t talking to divorce lawyers instead of playing games on the phone?”

But you swear that you and Maddie give each other life and a chance to be happy. Guy, she’s in another country and all you’re doing is committing adultery over the phone lines! You say you’ve finally told her to not contact you anymore – great! You finally wised up! Now, what you have to do is go back to your wife and make an effort to get your relationship with her back on track — or divorce her. And let me remind you once again – “The System” is against adultery.

It’s not another woman that you’re supposed to be with, Gordy – you’re supposed to be with your wife! You’re shouldn’t be out looking for another babe. You should want to be with your wife. What space are you talking about giving Maddie? She’s married and lives in a foreign country — there’s lots of space between you already!

You and Maddie are living in an illusion. This is all nothing but a fantasy. You’re having fun and it’s interesting because an extramarital relationship is forbidden and wrong. It’s too bad that you and Maddie don’t have the maturity to make a go of it with what you’ve got – in other words, your spouses — or get the hell out.

Neither one of you has the guts to go and hire a divorce lawyer, and that’s your problem. If you don’t, you’re just playing a game. How long can you do it? How long will it last? Where is it going? Do you and Maddie have kids? How is this clandestine affair affecting them?

Remember, you have a legal contract with your wife to be Honest and Loyal despite the fact that you’ve fallen out of love with each other.

What should you do? Go back to your wife and make a go of it or get a divorce, have Maddie get a divorce, then move to Canada! You should be neither lovers nor friends. Maddie is married and you’re married. That means there should be nothing between you WHATSOEVER.

Remember, guys: if you’re married, you shouldn’t be dating anyone but your wife.