WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
She's paying attention to him - but SHE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND. Why did he waste his time?!?!
Read on...
READER'S QUESTION
Hey Doc,
I’ve been reading and studying your articles for about a year now.
Here’s my situation. I’ve been chasing Misty for five months. I think that in reality she’s chasing me.
We go to the same college and she’s probably the best looking girl at the school. I have been a constant Challenge to her. She asks me out on dates, calls me, and instant messages and texts me almost every day.
I rarely contact her, and sometimes I don’t even respond to her contacts. I even reject her plans when they include her friends. At one point I had her seriously asking, “Are we even friends anymore?” I date and hang out with other girls and always make sure to let her know about it. This is the first time in my life I have ever been a real Challenge and it’s great!
Now here’s the wrinkle. Misty has a boyfriend who doesn’t go to our school, but lives in the area.
They’ve been dating for seven months. When I’m with Misty, she hates to talk about her boyfriend and she keeps me a secret to him. She and I have not done anything physical or romantic, but we both keep flirting with each other. She has at times mentioned that she’s unhappy with her boyfriend, but she continues to see him.
Doc, what should I do? Should I continue to be patient and a major Challenge to Misty?
Kaycee - who doesn’t know how to handle it from this point on
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DOC'S ANSWER
Hi Kaycee,
Instead of reading 52 of my articles, you should have read two of them, then bought “The System.” What you did is the same as getting a car that doesn’t have an engine. “The System” is the engine of my philosophy.
My book draws all of my principles and techniques together. It’s what makes comprehensive sense of my articles. Without the book, you are only getting dribs and drabs. They are valuable dribs and drabs to be sure, but you need the whole steak.
Listen to me, Kaycee: if you’d had my book when you met Misty, you wouldn’t even be writing this letter because you would have known what to do.
Misty is NOT chasing you, pal. If she were really chasing you, you would have been her boyfriend by now. So you’re deluding yourself, Kaycee. This babe is NOT really after you romantically. You’re not dating her, you’re just hanging out with her. She’s got you stranded in the dreaded FRIEND ZONE and you don’t even realize it.
Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You’re really just her girlfriend.” And because you don’t have my book, you haven’t been able to figure any of this out.
When Misty asked you whether you were even friends anymore, that was the dead giveaway of how she regards you. You’re going out on FRIENDSHIP, hang-out dates. They aren’t REAL dates.
Now you tell me that Misty has a boyfriend. In other words, she’s not available. “The System” says that the girl has to be AVAILABLE.
You can read a year’s worth of my articles and you won’t discover that – among many other vital points. You’ll only get those heavier insights by reading my book. Many key ideas are only included in “The System,” and unless you get it and synthesize all of those principles, like my cousin General Love says, “You’re operating without a full arsenal.”
Instead, you opted to waste time on a situation you didn’t know how to handle – in other words, chasing a girl who has a boyfriend. You’re trying to get her to drop the boyfriend but she hasn’t.
Nothing has changed. And you’ve blown five months for this? That’s because you read free articles for a year and were too cheap to buy my book. And you needed my book, buddy, to clear all of this mess up.
Of course Misty keeps you a secret to her boyfriend. She digs the guy and doesn’t want to change their relationship, get it? You’re the one who wants their relationship to change. Misty doesn’t, and her boyfriend doesn’t. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re just the third leg of a three-legged chair.”
When you say that she keeps flirting with you, all she’s doing is committing “adultery lite.” In other words, she’s just amusing herself. Misty might be unhappy with her boyfriend, but not quite enough to drop him for you. She also might like you a lot but not enough to the guy for you.
What should you do? Keep dating other women and stop talking to Misty. Be a SUPER-CHALLENGE to her. Until she gets rid of him, be cordial to her but don’t give her more than 15 seconds of your time. No mythical phony dates, no hanging out, no phone calls or texts. AND ABOVE ALL, GET “THE SYSTEM” ASAP!
Remember, guys: you won’t grasp all of “The System” by just reading my articles.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Don't be shy - LET'S TALK BELOW!
I’d tend to agree Doc that she’s just enjoying the attention he gives her. But my first girlfriend way back when was acting exactly like this girl. She was married, and when she finally got divorced and we dated, she told me she’d wanted to date me from the minute she met me years earlier. So it IS possible this girl really likes this guy, and she could get to the point where she wants him more than her boyfriend.
But I’d also say the bigger point is not to waste your time with women who aren’t single. It just falls under the larger umbrella of not generating enough options with women in your life…if you’re hoping to date women who aren’t single, or women who have bad personalities, then you’re just desperate.
SP,
Good comments – thanks
Doc has this situation pegged accurately – and Kaycee, you’re not the only guy who has been in this predicament.
Flirting with you while there’s a boyfriend afoot?? It’s a wonder she told you about the other guy at all, except to draw you in with jealousy and lust. She’s a Playerette – a party girl looking for constant entertainment. Thanks to you, she gets her boyfriend on weekends and holidays, and you at college during the school day. That’s not unusual. She’s probably telling her girlfriends about her main man while courting you for attention (and gifts), and giving you a sob story minimizing the other guy.
This chick at college age is working you to be her Dancing Monkey, lackey or tool. To do her bidding as she works your crush on her into the dirt. It just won’t work – she will work whichever one is available for her whim.
“Jackson” Pike
She’s got a BF but she hangs out with another dude?!? That’s a big red flag right there! Seriously, what’s her loyalty to the guy? I say zero, zip, nada. I would not date her even if she got rid of the guy (and sooner or later she will, we already know that…).
When Doc urges people to buy his book, it’s not because he just wants to make money off people. Without his book, trying to use parts of the “system” doesn’t work good. Stop wasting time and read his book. I believe it still comes with a money back guarantee. It’s frustrating reading these letters from men who think they can get a free ride on the System by just reading some articles. Finish the course or end up just another flunkie. The choice is yours.
Spot on – WELL SAID – thanks for the support.