Hey Doc,

I am your follower, bought “The System” and follow every update on your dating women radio show.

Anyway, I met Tania three months ago. She demonstrated high Interest Level from the very beginning. I was a gentleman at all times, our dates were nice and funny, and there was no contact between dates. There were no exes lurking in the background and she even stopped seeing a male friend because of me. Three months later she is all over me. She already calls herself my girlfriend, changed her Facebook status before I did, and calls and writes me first 80% of the time. She compliments me and makes me breakfast and dinners. Everything is just perfect.

I left for Europe two days ago on a six-month work assignment. I informed Tania about this after two months of dating. She took it very badly and cried a lot. When we first started dating she didn’t know that I was going to be sent away because it wasn’t confirmed and I didn’t want to scare her off. The good thing is that my company will allow me to return for three to four days every month.

My assignment is not permanent and I am coming back home in September and won’t be traveling overseas anymore. Tania and I keep in touch by Skype and messenger. Because I don’t want to lose my power as a Challenge, I still show Self-Control and never tell Tania that I miss her or that I love her. When I speak with her I sound Confident, happy and I try to use humor. She always talks about the future. When she was sad I told her that we can get through everything together, and she said that I make her believe that we can make it.

But I need your coaching, Doc. How often should I keep in touch with Tania and for how long? When I get back home I still want to own this girl. I know that long distance does not work and before I got “The System” I’d already had some bad experiences with long distance relationships. Tania did too. But this is not the standard long distance relationship (or at least that is what I want to believe). It’s a pity that Tania and I had only three months together, but they were a great three months. Any tips you can give me to keep this thing going would be greatly appreciated. I believe this is something that many men face these days.

Renaldo - who wants to make it work

Hi Renaldo,

First of all, it was great that when Tania’s Interest Level in you was 95% and she knew she wanted you, she didn’t let anything at all get in the way of your relationship taking off. Tania is one smart girl, my friend.

In fact, everything that happened up until the time of your departure for Europe was great. I’m very happy for you that you had three months in with Tania, but it would have been better if you’d had six months to a year in with her. To you Psych majors, the more time you have in with a woman who has high Interest Level, the more it guarantees that she is going to hang in there and stay in love with you for the long haul.

But here’s the bad news: you’re in Europe for a six-month assignment. In other words, you’re halfway around the world for half a year. Again, it would be much better if you had more time in with Tania when you expose your relationship to the dangers of long distance. And by the way, it was very smart of you not to mention that you were decamping for Europe until the assignment was confirmed. You’ve learned a lot from following my program, pal.

It’s likewise wonderful that you’re spending three to four days a month back in the States. When you’re back home, you have to spend all that time with Tania. This is extremely important. If you can pull this routine off for six months, you’ll be in the clear, Renaldo. There won’t be any more overseas assignments, and you’ll only be going back to Europe when Tania is your wife.

But even when you’re away, Tania is talking about the future. This is a great sign, Renaldo. The more you tell me about this woman, the more I like her. She sounds like a Flexible Giver and she obviously likes you a lot. Luckily your European assignment isn’t lasting a year or two. You’ll be able to visit Tania and keep in touch electronically. And, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Hopefully she won’t run into somebody else when you’re out of the country.”

How often should you be in contact with Tania? You’re going to talk to her two or three times a week from Europe. And let me add that you’re one of the few men who is not rationalizing when you say that this is not the typical long distance relationship. You have the means to stay in contact with Tania and your assignment is for only six months. If you can maintain Tania’s interest and she doesn’t meet someone else, you should be okay.

I never say this about a long distance relationship, Renaldo, but your odds with Tania are good.

Because of the way you’re conducting yourself, her feelings towards you and the fact that you’re going to see her four days a month, you should be able to survive this situation. I want you to know that yours is one of the best letters I’ve read in a long time. You’ve really internalized “The System” and that’s why you’re doing great with Tania.

Remember, guys: the more time you have in with her, the safer you are.