Hey Doc,

I’m in a very weird situation right now. I met a girl named Jade three years ago. She was from out of state and visiting a friend in my town for a week. I got lucky and met them both at a bar on the night she arrived. One of my buddies kept the friend entertained while I got to know Jade. We hit it off really well and spent a lot of time together over the week she was visiting. I even went to the airport to drop Jade off when she left and that was the last time I saw her. We exchanged numbers and spoke about starting a long distance relationship. But eventually the calls and texts stopped and we lost contact.

Over the past three years I’ve spent a lot of time trying to look Jade up on the internet but came to a dead end. A few days ago, her friend got in touch with me. She informed me that Jade will be coming to visit and would like to hang out again with me for old time’s sake. The friend also put me back in contact with Jade.

While catching up with Jade online, I found out that she has now been married for two years. However, she’d still like to hang out and is making it seem like she might want to rekindle an old flame -- me. I still have feelings for her and she’s made it clear that she still has feelings for me.

Jade doesn’t want to talk about her marriage at all, so I don’t know if she’s unhappy with it or just curious about how our relationship might have turned out. She told me that she wants things to be like the last time I saw her and wouldn’t mind being known as “my girl” to my friends.

Doc, I don’t know if I should see Jade when she comes to town. I don’t want to lose contact with her again but I also don’t want to come between her and her husband. What do you think I should do?

Tito - who is facing a major dilemma

Hi Tito,

First of all, I see that you don’t have “The System.” You don’t know a thing about my principles. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DON’T WORK, and if you’d had my book, you would know that. If Jade had been visiting your town for a week and then she decided to actually move there, then you would have a shot with her. Otherwise long distance relationships are doomed. And that’s why you need my book ASAP, dude!

Now let me get this straight. You’ve been chasing this mythical girl -- who lives hundreds of miles away -- for three whole years? Gosh, aren’t there any available girls in your town, Tito? What in the world are you doing, my friend? Three years is a long, long time to be pining over nothing. And make no mistake, this “relationship” you have with Jade is nothing. Like my cousin General Love says, “Talk about illusions of grandeur!”

Then you tell me that Jade has been married for two years. You know what this means, pal? YOU’RE OUT. So now you have a delusional long distance relationship with a girl you haven’t seen or even talked to in three years, she’s been married for two of those three years, and you have feelings for this person? Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “This makes no rational sense at all, my son.” Think about it. You haven’t even seen Jade in three years. She lives far away from you and you were in her presence for one week. And you’re still carrying a torch for her? Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You gotta find somethin’ better to do with your time, boy!”

But you think Jade might be curious about how your relationship with her could have turned out. Well, I’ll tell you how it would have turned out...

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