Hey Doc,

I’m 28 and would like to thank you for the “The System.” It has really changed my life, my way with women, and opened my eyes on dating. I’ve read it three times and have taken extensive notes. But I’m really stuck on something.

I go to the gym six days a week. I noticed a woman there who was always staring at me. I struck up a conversation with her and found out that she’s married to a guy I knew in high school. Maddie and I started talking more frequently, which turned into working out together, then turned into hanging out outside of the gym, which turned into being physical with each other. I know what you’re thinking, that this woman is a total whore, but that’s not the case. I’ve realized that she’s my other half, my soul-mate, if you believe in that kind of stuff. We are exactly like one another in what we eat, movies, mannerisms, personalities. I think it’s fate, to be honest. There are too many parallels in our lives for it not to be.

So Maddie cheated on her husband with me. I did the right thing and told him everything we did. He took her back and they are still together. A couple of months passed and I found out that she is carrying his baby. She said that it was not intended to happen, but they were drunk and it did. It’s been 10 months since we’ve known each other, and we are still totally in love with each other. It’s impossible for us to stop communicating with each other either via text or phone. We tell each other we should stop talking, but a couple days go by and one of us will cave in. Then we’ll talk, realize that we shouldn’t be doing this because she wants to be a good person and not betray her husband, and I don’t want the bad karma, so we’ll stop talking. Then the vicious cycle will start over again.

Doc, I know what you say in “The System” about women like Maddie, but I am just so in love with her. I know that what she’s doing with her husband is not what I want in a companion. If she does this sort of thing now, she might do it to me if we get together. But it’s just so hard to let go of someone you care about so much. She’s the first person I ever fell in love with. And when I say I fell in love with her, I fell hard. But it’s reciprocal -- she says she’s totally in love with me too. She was thinking about leaving her husband before she found out that she was pregnant and after only knowing me for a couple months. I strongly believe that one day Maddie’s going to be mine and we’re going to be together.

This thing is driving me crazy. I’d like your opinion. I need to know the truth, and you’re an expert in this area.

Diego - who can’t let her go

Hi Diego,

First of all, you have to read my book ONCE A WEEK FOR 15 WEEKS. Then you have to read SEVEN PAGES A NIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE in order to absorb its full impact.

Now, as soon as you found out Maddie was married and you realized you were physically attracted to her, you should have immediately stopped talking to her. It’s like dealing with alcoholism: you can’t take the first drink. But you took it. Then you went and spent all kinds of time with a married woman.

Are you sure you read my book? “The System” says that the woman has to be AVAILABLE. To you Psych majors, married women aren’t available. Maddie’s not on the market. Don’t you get it, Diego?

Now let me get this straight. You think it’s fate to fall in love with a married woman? Do you think that’s a proper way to live? Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “There’s going to be a day of reckoning, my son.” You have to memorize “The System” and get past Maddie as soon as possible, because you’re wasting your time with her.

You didn’t do the right thing by telling Maddie’s husband everything you did. It was the WRONG thing to do. Who set you up as God, Diego? Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re lucky the guy didn’t pull out a shotgun and blow your head off!” How dumb can you be? You should have ...

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