Hey Doc,

I’ve been reading your columns for years and most importantly I’ve read “The System” and I can vouch 100% that the principles you teach work every time.

I used to be just a player. But I finally found a Flexible Giver with the help of your book, have been with her for six years, but now an itch has kicked in. I realized she isn’t the one for me, we have different life goals and I learned that she doesn’t learn from her mistakes. Another girl has quite suddenly snuck onto my radar. Cat is currently with her boyfriend of five years. She confessed to my girlfriend that her boyfriend has cheated on her and she is no longer interested in him. All of us spend our weekends together on group dates to the beach or hiking.

Recently Cat has been way more friendly to me than usual. She has been extra touchy-feely. Two weeks ago we were playing footsies underneath the table while we all played poker, which caught me by surprise. That has caused me to think about her more. My instinct is to stay away because she is currently unavailable. But I will end my current relationship not for her, but more to make myself available to others since I’m no longer in love.

What I want to know is whether I should meet with Cat and ask her about the night we played footsies. I’m aware that false hope could be brewing, but she always laughs at my corny jokes, blushes when I’m around and wears revealing dresses and makes sure to show off her goods to me.

I haven’t had time alone with Cat to ask her if she’s interested in me or if she’s just flirting. Should I state my intentions to her? I would take things slow with her to make sure there was enough time for her to be over her ex. Then again, it’s a big “if” that she’ll actually break up with him.

Philip - who wants to do it right