He Did NOT Read Her Right – She Was Not Into Him

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(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

Hey Doc,

I’m a newcomer to “The System” but it’s really turned things around for me. Thank you!

Here’s my situation. My buddies and I have been eating at the same restaurant for a few years now. One waitress who works there, Brigitte, is a Beautiful Woman and a real sweetheart. Recently, I noticed her making eyes at me. Before letting my ego shoot through the roof, I tried to undervalue her Interest Level and kept to my usual routine, which was nothing more than “hello” and “goodbye.” Also, some of her female coworkers began to drop her name a lot to me. They even asked if I “missed” her when she was off one night.

I took this as a good sign, but Brigitte soon revealed that she had a boyfriend she was going fishing with the next day. I ended the conversation, but her earlier flirty behavior continued. The boyfriend was not mentioned again, nor did any of her coworkers ever mention him.

Since then, Brigitte gets really excited whenever I see her at the restaurant, is always very attentive to me, and always gives me extended eye contact. When I leave the restaurant she always asks if she’ll see me the next time I come in. I have not asked for her phone number because of the boyfriend.

What do you think I should do, Doc? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Addison - who wonders if he should eat somewhere else


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Hi Addison,

Exactly how do you know that Brigitte’s heart is sweet? You don’t really know anything about this girl, do you?

Now when a girl gives you any kind of buying signals, you’re supposed to ask for the phone number. You might own my book, Addison, but in order to make it work at maximum effectiveness, you’ve got to MEMORIZE it. You’ve got to practice it until it’s second nature. My techniques will show you that if the girl turns you down, she was just flirting for bigger tips. And that’s why you have to go for it – to eliminate all doubts about where she’s really coming from.

This is actually where the entire situation becomes the kind of scene a forensic love detective would have a field day with. Think it about it. Brigitte is giving you all the signals but has no intention of following through. Something’s not right. Guys, you know what this means: Brigitte is faking high Interest Level.

And of course that’s when she reveals that she’s going fishing with her boyfriend the next day. Only it really looks like she’s baiting you and that you’re the big fish who’s about to get hooked.

And who cares if Brigitte’s coworkers don’t mention her boyfriend? All you should care about is her Interest Level in you. But what you have here is a girl with a boyfriend who likes to play with other guys’ heads and egos. That’s all there is to it.

Sure, Brigitte gets excited when she sees you. But not excited enough to get rid of her boyfriend. And she’s very attentive to you as well – but only when her boyfriend’s not around.

Addison, when this cutie batted her eyes at you, you should have gone straight for that phone number. Then, when she turned you down and said, “I can’t -- I have a boyfriend,” and you wouldn’t have had to order your meat loaf and mashed potatoes at her restaurant every night.

Nevertheless, I do think you need a good dose of reality, Addison. Because you actually did overestimate Brigitte’s Interest Level, despite what you think. Man, you must be leaving this girl some monster gratuities!

Remember, guys: sometimes waitresses fake Interest Level so they can pick up bigger tips.