Monthly Archives: July 2023

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(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

Hey Doc,

I am an Air Force pilot stationed in Europe. I have to tell you that I never read your book. In fact, I never even knew about you until a friend suggested that I read “The System,” but, frankly, I don’t have enough time for this. Anyway, here’s my story in short form.

My eternal passion is aircrafts. Period. Everything else comes second. That said, I met Bree, who is 10 years younger than me. She asked for my number, then asked me to date her. We did so for eight months. My buddy (who’s your student) said that I was too much of Challenge for her. Because of my passion for aircrafts and my job, I never had enough time for her and she had to beg for attention.

I saw Bree once per week, sometimes once every two weeks. I didn’t do this on purpose. I just wanted to see her whenever I had some free time. She began to complain that I was more in love with flying than her. She got jealous and thought that I was seeing other girls. Every time we met, Bree would bite me on the neck and purposely mark me with a big red scar! She was so in love with me that she said she wanted to have babies with me. Anyway, after eight months, she said that she couldn’t tolerate the situation anymore. She said that she wanted to be in a healthy relationship where a man is romantic and thinks about her all the time. This is something I am not.

I didn’t lose any sleep because Bree dumped me. But I want her back just for my ego. A pilot never quits! So I went from being a Challenge to a bit needy. I admitted that I cheated on Bree when drunk and told her I wanted her back. Then I told her that I was seeing another girl, which happens to be true. She didn’t reply. I then sent her a message telling her I missed her and that while she might not be the prettiest girl I ever dated, she was unique. Her response was to tell me to leave her alone. Any advice on how to get her back?

Norm - who always has to win

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Hi Norm,

Before we examine your situation with Bree, let’s take a look at how you’re treating your buddy. Here you have a friend, a guy you like and respect, a sharp and successful guy, and he generously recommends that you invest in my book so that it can help you, but you don’t have the time for it. This is very curious. You always find time to put jet fuel in your airplane, don’t you? Because if you don’t fuel it, it won’t work. Well, it’s the same thing with the opposite sex, Norm. Without “The System,” you’re not going to work with women.

I’m glad you have a passion, my friend. A man should his love his job first and above everything else. But from what you’ve said in your letter, it sounds like you need a bit of a balance in your life or you’ll never make it with a woman. To achieve that balance, you also need to read seven pages of my book every night. That way, at the end of one month, you’ll have read the book in its entirety. If you do it for 15 months you’ll know all about women. Isn’t that simple? Just seven pages a night, Norm!

Seeing Bree, or any girl, once every two weeks is not enough. You have to see a girl twice a week when she’s your girlfriend. Some guys want to see a girl three, four and five times a week, but two is the perfect number. If a special occasion comes up, you can give her three times. But if you can’t see a girl two times a week, forget about relationships.

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Seeing a lady only when you have free time doesn’t work, pal. And by the way, like the great Doctor Freud once said, “That’s a very immature statement.” The truth of the matter is that you are more in love with flying than with Bree, which is good and healthy. The trouble in this situation is that Bree’s not number 2 on your list, she’s number 17. The first sixteen are airplanes.

It’s fair enough that Bree thought you were running around on her, but hopefully you really weren’t. Anyway, she was insecure enough to mark you with a big red scar. What is she, a vampire? And she actually begged you to have babies with her. Do you see what happened here, Norm? Because you’re more in love with aircrafts than her, it drove Bree crazy. To you Psych majors, THAT’S THE POWER OF CHALLENGE. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “If only more men would realize this fact of life!”

I want a man to be romantic, but he should think about his girl part of the time -- not all of the time. But here’s the most important point, Norm: one day you’re going to want to settle down and have a wife and kids. And that’s when you’re going to have to back off on the F-16s a little.

You didn’t lose sleep when Bree dumped you? That’s odd. When a girl drops you, it’s supposed to bother you. You’re not supposed to lose sleep when you dump her! But here you are writing me, so you’re contradicting yourself.

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I’m glad a pilot never quits, dude, but forget about getting Bree back for your ego. BECAUSE ONCE A WOMAN DROPS YOU, IT’S OVER. There’s no going back. So what you’re doing now is a waste of time.

Now wait a minute here, buddy. You’re driving a 24-million-dollar airplane for the United States and you’re a drunk? Oh, that’s just great! Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Hey, I’m really happy about my where my tax money is goin’!”

And let me get this part straight. You’re trying to get Bree back and you’re telling her she’s not the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen? That’s really endearing! Like my cousin General Love says, “Soldier, if that tactic doesn’t work, nothing will!”

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But seriously, it’s no wonder Bree told you to leave her alone. She wants nothing to do with you. You’re history, burned out, gone, Norm. There’s no possible way to get this girl back. But what you should be thinking about instead is the next girl who’s going to dump you. You’re going to want her back too, but you’re going to make the same old mistakes because you don’t have the time to memorize my materials. My gosh, Norm, what are you waiting for?

Remember, guys: flying an F-16 is easier than understanding women.