Monthly Archives: September 2024

5 months in and he is worried that she is not into him anymore - should he be?  Find out below...

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Hi Doc,

My problem is that I’m almost positive that I have a woman who’s losing interest in me. We have been dating for five months now, but within the last month, we have been seeing less and less of each other, even though we work in the same building.

In the beginning, she used to call me before my break so we could meet outside the building for a smoke. Now she rarely calls - she just shows up. One could say that I’m getting worried over nothing – if it weren’t for the fact that this is only one of many signs that I've picked up.

I want to know what happened to her Interest level - at what point did it crash? What were the other signs that I missed? I know that in the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t much of a Challenge to her.

If I did not love this woman so much I would just chuck it all - but I think she’s definitely worth investing whatever it takes to get her high Interest Level back. Thanks.

George – who wants to know the truth

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Hi George,

Unless she catches you in bed with another person, the woman’s high Interest Level does not drop like a rock – it drops gradually, in five stages.

Before we discuss the five stages, George, let’s talk about your case. Although it deals with one woman - your girlfriend – the principles apply to clinically sane women everywhere.

Right now, you are starting to get bad vibes from your girlfriend or as I put it: your stomach is talking to you. You are asking yourself, “Am I sensing a problem or am I making something out of nothing?” Answer: the former - you are intuitively sensing the decline of her Interest Level.

But intuition is not enough, George. That’s where I come in - I articulate what the man’s guardian angel, his stomach, is warning him about his relationship (this is another thing that sets me apart from the other love doctors). I then provide him with the time-tested principles of The “System” to improve his situation.

The man’s intuition is sent into alarm mode whenever he senses any inconsistencies in the woman’s behavior. He may conclude that nothing is drastically wrong, but he’s positive that the intensity of the woman’s feelings isn’t as great as it once was. It’s a good thing he notices these behavioral changes, because when a woman is inconsistent, it means she’s losing Interest Level in him.

The first change you may notice in the woman is that she stops complimenting you or laughing at your silly jokes. For some reason, she no longer minds if you go out with the boys like she did when her Interest Level was in the stratosphere. This is the first stage of Interest Level drop-off: it has dropped to 75% or perhaps even lower - down to 66% IL.

Stage Two begins when she doesn’t initiate touching like she did in the heated good old days. Before, she used to grab your arm when crossing the street - now she just jumps the curb first and says, “Hurry up, slowpoke.” You are between 56% and 65% IL at this level.

Stage Three (51% to 55% IL) is where the arguments and zingers begin. The disagreements start out as small and infrequent, but later intensify as her IL gets closer and closer to the point of no return: the 49% IL mark – or the beginning of Stage Four.

At Stage Four, the woman is with you - but in truth, you are history. In addition to the arguments - which by now, have become constant and brutal – the woman starts saying things like, “I need my space, but we can continue to date,” which is Womanese for, “Please move out so I can change the locks and date your cousin.”

At this point, many guys ignore what their stomachs tell them, and think that - against all odds - things will turn around. Poor saps. They are like the guy on death row who thinks the governor is going to call at 11:59 PM to save his hide - fat chance.

A woman in Stage Four may not be fully aware of her intention to dump you, but the truth remains: she is building up the resentment needed so she will never have second thoughts about coming back to you. She may linger in this stage for months, even years - but no matter what you do at this point, your fate is sealed.

Stage Five, of course, is execution day – the day she breaks up with you. Her Interest Level has reached 39% and though you were out long ago, she just can’t stand to see your face any longer. The day starts with a big argument – that she sets up – and ends with her walking out of your life forever.

George, based on the information you gave me, I would put your girlfriend’s IL at Stage One. To reverse this downward trend, you must add the Challenge that you’ve been omitting from your relationship. Start by skipping half of your cigarette breaks, and only accepting half of your girlfriend’s invitations to meet her outside. Also, let her see you joke around with the other knockouts in the office. When she confronts you about this, smile sweetly and say, “You know you are the only one for me.”

These love tactics will work, George. If they don’t - Heaven forbid - then your girlfriend’s Interest Level has already reached Stage Four (49% IL).

Remember Guys, because there is only a few points of Interest Level in Stage Four before a woman drops you, always be the one to get out first - it hurts a lot less. Heed the words of my cousin Fast Eddie Love: “In the airplane of love, there’s only one parachute.”