Monthly Archives: September 2024

She left him and it *seemed* out of the blue but read on because Doc said he should not have married her in the first place - don't let this happen to you...

YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!)

Hello Doc,

Well, I guess I already know the answer to my question, but I’ll give you my story anyway.

After six years of marriage, my normally very loyal, dedicated wife announced that she was interested in someone else and wasn't sure she loved me anymore!

When she and I met nine years ago, she was trying to get out of her first marriage and was a mess. In spite of this, I took her and her two children in, and became her source of strength for nine years. Now, suddenly, she says she’s tired of the “oppression” of our relationship, and just wants to “lighten up” and have fun.

I agreed to leave the house in order to give her time to sort out her feelings; but after a few days, I couldn't bear it - so I returned home, begging her not to throw away what I thought was a great relationship and family. She agreed to try to work things out, but after a month, her effort went from half-hearted to non-existent. When I confronted her about this, I found out that she had maintained contact with
the other guy and wanted me to leave the house again to give her “a few weeks more” to think. Again, I acquiesced.

Weeks turned to months. After four months, she decided that, despite feeling overwhelming guilt, she wanted to pursue a relationship with the other guy, and I was out. She said I was too intense and too wrapped up in work and making money (though she definitely paced me on the spending side of the equation), while the other guy was a happy, relaxed free spirit who made her feel young again!

So, now I'm out and he's in - and I'm about to get raked over the coals by the divorce courts; it seems that my money and his personality are the perfect combination for her. Throughout the six months that this thing unwound, my confidence and inner-strength slowly evaporated until I could see nothing in her eyes but contempt for me. Nevertheless, I still expect her to come back one day. Am I just dreaming?

Al - who wants to know if he is a total dope

YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!)

Hi Al,

First of all, I want to compliment you for putting your ego aside and writing your letter. Except for Country and Western singers, men find it difficult to admit ever being hoodwinked by a woman. Your story, Al, is yet another example of the most underreported crime in America: Marital Fraud.

The moment your wife mentioned her interest in another guy, Al, Déjà vu should have clobbered you over the head - after all, during her previous marriage, weren’t you the “the other guy”? At the time, I’m sure you said to yourself, “She would never do the same thing to me.” Now you know the truth.

It’s great to be in love, Al, but not to the point that you overlook a woman’s major flaws. You knew your wife was a disaster waiting to happen, but you ignored the ominous signs.

Your wife is a Drifter – a woman bereft of integrity who floats from man to man, showing loyalty toward none. Some Drifters drift from date to date, others - from husband to husband, but the pattern is always the same: when a man no longer serves a Drifter’s purposes, she sails away until she washes up on some other man’s beach. Six years ago, Al, you were the lucky man – now it’s time for some other guy to get lucky.

Al, it’s true that, like many men with too much Interest Level, you didn’t say no. Instead, you let her get away with everything by agreeing to her outrageous requests (Al, when a woman says, “Please leave the house so I can decide whether I love you” it’s Classic Womanese for “Adios, amigo!”). It’s also true that your lack of backbone dissolved whatever crumbs of respect and Interest Level that your wife had for you. There was nothing you could have done to prevent your wife from bailing; Drifters respect no rules and honor no commitments.

So, no, Al; your wife’s never coming back - but you’re better off without her. This woman was never fit for a relationship. I know you’re suffering now, but you’re on the road to recovery. By following The “System” from now on, your confidence and inner strength will return in time. I just feel sorry for the poor children who have this woman for a mother.

Guys, marriage is tough, even under the best of circumstances (if you’re single, tattoo this truth somewhere on your body!). When you go for Miss Psycho or Miss Unreliable, you will eventually pay the divorce lawyer, and then the psychotherapist - who will only tell you, “You should have given her more.”

Al’s situation shows the importance of determining a woman’s attitude before you get deeply involved with her. All you men out there who don’t think a woman’s attitude is important need to be aware of the agony that awaits you.

Remember, guys: The “System” was designed to screen out losers before they get their hooks into your heart and wallet, and send you to Hell in a hand basket – so use it.