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YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!)

(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

Why is he so caught up with someone that he really doesn't know all that well???  NOTE, NO ARTICLE WILL BE POSTED ON 11/23/2023 DUE TO THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY IN THE US - WE WILL RESUME POSTING ON 11/30/2023

Hey Doc,

I’ve been dating Rachael for three and half months now. I’ve read “The System” and have been trying to be a Challenge, but Rachael just ignores me when I back off calling her. At first we talked once a day and went on dates every other day. In our talks we would just ask one another how the other’s day was. I’ve learned from your program that this was a mistake. Now I only call her to schedule dates but she seems to get upset that I don’t talk to her every day anymore. She actually complained to one of my friends that I don’t talk to her enough and only want to see her on certain days.

Rachael always touches me a lot and I take this as a positive sign, but she never opens up to me emotionally. After trying to be more of a Challenge to her I don’t feel like she is chasing me any more than she did in the beginning. She lives about 100 yards away from me so it’s tough for me to not see her every day, though I make sure not to.

I’m not sure why, but I just have a gut feeling that Rachael is not happy when I don’t call her every day. When I invited her to eat dinner the other day she did not seem all that enthusiastic. I don’t want to mess up with Rachael and I need your coaching. What should I do? Should I keep on putting her off and seeing her only twice a week or should I see her more often?

Rudolf - who is trying to follow the rules

There are hundreds of videos on Doc's YouTube Channel - here is the latest one:

11/15/2023 - Order Steak On Date 1??? (Dating Women Radio Show Episode 19)

+DON'T FORGET WE PRODUCE SHORTER VIDEOS WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME

Hi Rudolf,

Know what, dude? Let Rachael ignore you when you don’t call her. It’s totally okay. You’re only going to do what “The System” says you should do, and you’re not going to care what the girl thinks or how she reacts. Like my cousin General Love says, “From now on you’re going to act like a real man.”

The fact of the matter is that you are seeing Rachael too much. And now you’re trying to break a pattern, and that’s the problem. To you Psych majors, once you get a woman accustomed to a certain behavior, it’s tough to undo. You have to turn the water down SLOWLY. You can’t just do a 180-degree turnaround and shut it off abruptly.

It’s very nice that you and Rachael ask each other how your days are. But you should be doing it ON THE DATE, face to face, so Rachael can grab your hand and stroke your cheek and you can see how bright her eyes are merely from being in your presence. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO GRADE HER INTEREST LEVEL, and you can only do that when with you’re with her in the flesh.

It’s not a federal violation if you don’t talk to Rachael every single day.  It’s fine to only see Rachael on certain days, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You’re going to get in line, or she’s going to get in line.” In other words, Rudolf, it's going to be what you want or what she wants. 

What do you mean by saying Rachael doesn’t open up to you emotionally? She’s opening up by telling you she wants to be with you every five minutes. So you’re contradicting yourself. You’re actually contradicting yourself all over the place. This girl IS reacting to your being a Challenge by wanting to be with you all the time and wanting to talk to you constantly. But she’s doing it in a passive-aggressive way – which you’re not going to fall for either. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “You deal with a passive-aggressive woman by not reacting.”

YOU NEED THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY TO REALLY WIN WITH WOMEN! GET IT HERE FOR 10% OFF (IMMEDIATE DOWNLOADS OF BOTH THE WRITTEN AND AUDIO VERSIONS!) 

Guy, you have to practice Self-Control until Rachael says “I’m going to change,” or she says goodbye. Her choices are that she’s going to fall into line with what you want or she’s going to leave you – that’s it. Period. You’re not going to change. Don’t sweat it if she doesn’t chase you any more than she did in the beginning. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re not gonna give a hoot about the pussycat’s feelings.”

It’s good that you don’t see Rachael every day. You don’t want to be bumping into her all the time as well as talking to her a couple of times a week. Again, it’s fine that Rachael isn’t happy when you don’t call her every day. Pal, you’re not here to make her happy. You’re here to raise Interest Level via Challenge.

When Rachael wasn’t enthusiastic about going out to dinner with you, you should have withdrawn the offer. You should have said, “Honey, are you a little sick, or down or something? You don’t seem that happy about going out.” And then you should have said “Let’s do dinner some other time,” and cancelled the date. Like I said before, you’re going to get her in line or you’re going to walk.

Rudolf, I hate to tell you this, but you’ve already messed up with Rachael. What we’re trying to do now is clean up the mess. And that means you’re not going to sit on the phone with her every day and you’re only going to see her twice a week. Most importantly, you’re going to hold your ground.

Remember, guys: in every relationship, someone blinks first.