It's a free dating website - sort of - because if you want some upgraded features then you're going to have to pay and even if you don't pay, expect every other dating website to be in your face because Plenty of Fish is not shy about using your information to target you while you're there

Point your browser at POF.com (that's the easiest way to remember it) and then sign up for a free account - it's pretty self-explanatory as to what you have to do but there is one confusing part. They ask you towards the back end of the sign up process to answer a series of questions so you match with potential dates better but you can easily skip that part. I don't really see a benefit to doing it because these online relationship predictor tests can be pretty goofy. Who cares if I'm "more likely" to read a book instead of party? Does that mean that I should skip all the girls that like to go out on the weekends?

As I teach in my dating relationship education course named THE SYSTEM, I don't want you to waste a ton of time online - your only object is to get her out for a coffee date so you can see how you mix in the real world! By the way, if you want some strategies for getting better with PlentyOfFish.com or any other online dating site for singles then read my article here.

Okay, free is good - that's a good start. Also, there are a TON of women on there - because, it's, well, free. They also don't put you through a big song and dance to get your photos or profile approved - it's pretty instantaneous - which is great when you're just dying to send that pretty redhead a message. Also, they're pretty careful to limit guys to contacting women that are no younger than 14 years their junior - which I tell you guys all the time that you shouldn't be trying to go for women with too big of an age gap anyway - because there is such a difference in life experience and where you're headed - it's nearly impossible to build a long-term romance in May-December fashion.

I like what the founder of POF says in talking about this subject related to his dating website: "There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact 18-year-old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hook-ups." I agree totally with that - and THE SYSTEM is all about long-term relationships that can go the distance - so if you're 50, for example, stay in your "pond" and go for late 30's to your age range (okay - sorry about the bad pun!) If you want more of my thoughts on this check out my post on older men dating younger women here .

Another good thing is their POF Forums are pretty active - now I don't recommend you follow the advice a lot of those folks give because many are CLUELESS but you can pick up nuggets from time to time and it's especially good to see what the women are saying because as you know on my dating women radio show I often talk about things from Glamour, Cosmopolitan, etc., because the more you can get into the mindset of where the ladies are at, the better (however, don't take everything they say as 100% truth - for example - they may say they want a nice guy but they go for the bad boy - my course can help you decipher their "Womanese.")

In no particular order...

• You cannot eliminate the ads in the free version (see the section on "upgrading" below for more on this - you can eliminate these). These ads are ANNOYING because they're so specific to you - you'll see ads based on your profile and it's relatively creepy. Say, you're a blonde guy that's 35 - you'll see ads for other dating websites that say "our ladies love 35-year old blonde guys." It's smart on the part of PlentyOfFish.com but it does get a little intrusive.
• Women get a TON of messages because any yahoo with an internet connection can sign up free and start sending emails. It's tough for you to get through the mess and also the ladies there are a little more worn out by the time you get to them because even though POF's founder doesn't want this to be a hook up site, some guys try to use it that way. Their user agreement states that you could get banned for this behavior but do you think they have time to watch every single message from all the accounts they have?
• Their "meet me" feature is goofy. You can click "yes" to meeting a woman and she can do the same - it's kind of like POF's version of the Match.com "wink" but I personally don't think it works very well - some of my students have told me that they've sent emails to women that clicked "yes" to them and gotten no response - now how is that possible (by the way, you have to be an upgraded member to see the women interested in you).

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Here's what they claim happens to upgraded members - and only you can make the choice if you want to do this or not - but by every claim I'll tell you my opinion (curiously they don't list seeing women that want to meet you in their "pitch" - they only talk about you showing up first - however, in the meet me section, they bait you to upgrade by telling you that women want to "meet you" and when you try to find out who, it's time to whip out your credit card - and you know my thoughts on that feature!)

• Show up first on Meet Me! (I don't think this works very well - not a benefit).
• Unlock every user's Extended Profile (not a benefit - a lot of people don't bother filling this out).
• See if your emails were read or deleted (not a benefit - who cares if they read them or not - you only care about responses).
• Experience POF ad-free (I like this - definitely a good thing).
• Find out the date and time someone viewed your profile (again, not a benefit - we only care about responses).
• Massive increase in emails (students that have tried this say this isn't necessarily true).
• Number of people viewing your profile triples (students that have tried this say this isn't necessarily true).
• Stand out in all searches (I will say they do highlight members so this is a benefit).
• Send three gifts per day (I advise guys to give no gifts of any kind until she's your girlfriend - so this isn't a benefit).
• This upgrade more than doubles your chances of meeting someone (I'd like to see some statistics on this - can they say this for 100% of the guys?)
• Upload 16 images (I suggest 2 photos - one casual - one professional - done by a working photographer - so you don't need all this).

So, most of the "benefits" aren't benefits in my mind - but you can make your own decision on that - the cheapest price you can get as of the writing of this article is $10.18 per month - but you have to commit for 8 months to get this price - $81.40 out of your pocket right away. You can go with a 2-month plan and that will be $19.35 a month - or $38.70 out the door once you click "Upgrade."

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Again, in no particular order...

• Customer service is non-existent - if you send an email to them, forget it - it's not getting answered - one of my students tried 5x to no avail.
• They have randomly deleted accounts for no reason - and why is that? Well, the people complaining can't find out since they don't answer emails!
• There is no way to hide your views of women - so if you keep going back to her profile you'll show up as a view - which can be a bit creepy from her perspective
• Like with any dating website, there are scammers running around - if she seems to good to be true, she probably is!

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