Hey Doc,

I bought “The System” a month ago and also became a member of the Doc Love Club. I listen to your radio show religiously and think that you are the equivalent of Isaac Newton, Einstein, or Edison when it comes to dating. You are the only person I have ever listened to that provides a detailed plan for guys to be able to get and keep women.

Anyway, I’m 24 and have been seeing Reagan for a month and we now have four dates in. I’d say her Interest Level is 80%. She laughs at my Cary Grant-esque jokes, has offered to pay for dates, and talks about future dates when we’re out on a date. I have two questions for you because I’m not sure if I handled these situations well.

First, I’d just driven her home after the fourth date and we were having a short kiss in my car before I called it a night. Right before she got out of the car, she looked at me and said, “So, I really like you a lot, and would love for you to start taking me out on weekends. But I can’t go out this weekend or next weekend.” Normally, I would have tied down the date right then and there because it was incoming.

However, planning a date three weeks in the future seemed too far out to me. So I responded with “Great! Sounds good!” and I left. My question is, should I ask Reagan out for a week date, acknowledge that we can then go for a weekend date in three weeks, and continue week dating until she’s available for a weekend? Or did I make a blunder?

My second question is a bit simpler. Reagan’s birthday is this week. Should I get her a gift, or just say happy birthday and get her a card? I was planning on calling her Monday for a Wednesday date, which would be the day before her birthday. I know that she’s probably going to be doing something this weekend for her birthday with her friends and did not invite me, by the way. Which I think is probably good, because I don’t want group dates until we have 10 dates in.

Douglas - who needs to brush up before he makes a mistake

Hi Douglas,

Thanks so much for the very nice compliment. I want you to also realize that I’m the only love doctor out there who BACKS UP his materials with a radio show every Wednesday night.

(Editor's note, when Doc was alive he had a an award winning radio show from 2005-2020 - you can still get the archives at DocLoveClub.com and we still update the show weekly with a "best of" Doc show.)

Guys phone in from around the world. In recent weeks we’ve had calls from countries as diverse as Romania, India and Sudan. What this demonstrates is that the information in “The System” works not only in America, but EVERYWHERE in the world. It not only works in different cultures, it also cuts across any kind of barrier and obstacle. In other words, it’s a system based on universal truths.

One of the great things about joining the Doc Love Club is that it costs only $2.33 per week. But this gives you access to a year and a half of radio shows – which are gold dust. You can go back and listen to those shows, and you’ll realize that the questions you have are the same as those called in by other guys all over the world. “Should I kiss her? Should I pay for the date?” are just some of the questions that guys need answers for. And you’ll get the answers to those questions when you listen to my shows.

So you have my book to study, you have my radio show as back-up, and when you’re rolling you can acquire my MASTERY SERIES in order to test yourself to make sure you really know this material.

It’s really important for guys out there to understand that the information in “The System” goes a lot deeper than you realize. To you Psych majors, you might think that you need help with one or two issues in your current relationship, but you most likely need help on a half-dozen problem areas you’re not even aware of.

Now, on to your questions. First, you don’t kiss the girl in the car. You kiss her at her doorstep when no one is watching. And you don’t kiss on the first date, which is the Starbucks date. You kiss on the second date, which is the dinner date. And don’t forget that your kiss is going to last all of a second and a half before YOU pull away. Girls are always the ones to pull away on the kiss. 

But you are going to beat her to the punch and make the kiss part of being a CHALLENGE.

What you’re going to do is continue to ask Reagan out for weekdays. Don’t even acknowledge the fact that she’s not available for those two weekends. After they pass, ask her out for a Friday and a Saturday.

You’re not going get Reagan either a gift or a card. She’s not your girlfriend yet, so you’re not going to celebrate her birthday. That’s the rule. What you’re going to do instead is call her on Monday and ask her out for Sunday – several days past her birthday. Unless she brings it up, you’re going to completely skip over her birthday.

One more thing – you don’t know what Reagan is doing for her birthday. You don’t know whether she’s having a party or whether or not she’s inviting you. So don’t assume the worst. But you are right – it’s not good to have a group date. But the rule regarding her birthday is that SHE HAS TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND before you acknowledge or celebrate it. It’s not just a matter of having 10 dates in with her.

Remember, guys: the best thing about “The System” is that it lays down clearly defined guidelines so you don’t have to think of what to do.