Hey Doc,

I’ve purchased your book, read it three times already, and have learned a lot. Let me qualify by saying I’m 59 and was married for 29 years. I went through a devastating divorce that included betrayal and criminality on the part of my ex. I have gone through the stages of grief and I'm moving on with my life.

I have no problem getting phone numbers and even turn down some women who are hitting on me.

Darcy, who is 50 and works at the local credit union, was hinting her interest to me. When I was going through my divorce I didn’t do anything about it, but once it was final, I asked for her phone number.

She said “I have to think about it.” I decided to quickly move on to the next woman. The next time I stopped at the credit union to make a deposit, Darcy and I exchanged pleasantries and one hour later she emailed me her phone number and email address, which I didn’t expect.

The next day I called Darcy and we made a date for the Saturday after Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day I sent chocolate to her workplace. For our date we went to an art museum and had lunch. It was nice except that I spilled my guts about my divorce to her, but she didn’t mind. I took Darcy home and went for the kiss in the car. She turned her head and I got the cheek. I left for work and a minute later she texted me asking if I had a good time. She texted me three different times throughout the night, asking once if we were going out again. We got together for a coffee date and had a nice time.

On payday I went to the credit union and Darcy was in her truck crying. When I asked what the problem was, she wouldn’t tell me. I rubbed her back and comforted her and told her everything was going to be all right. A few days later we had another date and afterwards I got the cheek again.

Between dates she kept emailing and texting me. Finally I told her I needed to talk to her. When I got to her place, I told her I wasn’t asking her out anymore. She took it well and she said we could be friends.

It’s been several weeks since our last date. Doc, Darcy has the body of an 18-year-old. She lives with her mother and sister and has to take care of an eight-year-old nephew who has an anxiety disorder. I know I went too fast with her and want to start dating her again. She is Flexible, Honest, and Trustworthy. She is a taker but not a mercenary. What do you think I should do?

Placido - who hopes he didn’t blow it

Hi Placido,

If you’ve read my book three times, you still have a dozen times to go before it sinks in all the way! Then seven pages a night for the rest of your life. Remember that you’ve had nearly 60 years of negative conditioning that “The System” needs to wipe out.

Anyway, you asked Darcy for her number and she told you that she had to think about it. To you Psych majors, any woman who says she has to think about it when you ask her out is stalling because she’s hiding her low Interest Level. It’s just Womanese for not wanting to tell you no. And by the way, WOMANESE is the very last chapter in “The System.” I suggest you revisit it ASAP, Placido.

Even though Darcy emailed you her contact information, it was still a big Red Flag that she dragged her feet. She should have given her number to you right away. What was there to think about for days or weeks? Darcy either digs you or she doesn’t. So this is the first inconsistency – or RED FLAG — that Darcy exhibited in the relationship.

You sent her chocolate on Valentine’s Day? This is why you have to read my book 15 times, pal. In the chapter called GIFTS, it says you’re not supposed to be sending any gifts UNTIL SHE’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

Don’t kid yourself, Placido. Darcy did mind when you spilled your guts about your ex-wife. TALKING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN LOWERS INTEREST LEVEL. And why are you trying to turn into Darcy’s psychiatrist? If you’ve really read my book, you know it’s a big no-no.

Then you went for the kiss in your car. Dude, you don’t kiss a woman in your car. You kiss her at her front door. No wonder Darcy turned her head on you!

Now let me get this straight. This woman who had doubts about giving you her number is now texting you four times a day? Another RED FLAG. This woman has no consistency whatsoever. Can you imagine living with this for 20 or 30 years?

Why are you rubbing Darcy’s back? Why are you touching this woman at all? She should be rubbing your back, guy! And again you’re playing her shrink.

You haven’t absorbed “The System” nearly enough, Placido. It’s not getting through to you. All of these situations are explained in great detail in my book.

Are you sure you read it even once?

When you went for the kiss a second time, you got Darcy’s cheek again. She goes out with you, she can’t stop texting you and then she won’t kiss you. Another HUGE RED FLAG. And yet one more RED FLAG when she told you that the two of you could be friends. Like my cousin General Love says, “She’s nothing but a field full of Red Flags.”

Now wait a minute here. You’ve gone with Darcy on all of three dates, she’s demonstrated nothing but erratic behavior, but you can already tell how she’s psychologically wired? You know from three dates that she’s Flexible, Honest and Trustworthy? My friend, it’s impossible for you to know anything about a woman after only three dates!

Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You’re nutty, man.” Placido, your Interest Level is much too high in this woman.

SLOW IT DOWN!

What should you do? Throw Darcy’s number away and read my book another 12 times!

Remember, guys: when you see nothing but Red Flags, run the other way.