"Friends with benefits" does NOT mean you can get a relationship!  Read on...

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Hey Doc,

I skimmed over your book and it led me to the point where I am now e-mailing you.
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For the past three years I have been in the dreaded “friend zone” with Violet. I did just about everything right when I met her. Got all the way to the point of falling asleep with her on the couch at sunrise and moving in for a kiss only to have her say she wanted to wait and not rush into it. It then stagnated for a year before we became friends with benefits for a few months. I then pushed for making Violet my girlfriend and BAM -- back in the friend zone.

Violet is now with me every weekend. She stays over and sleeps in the same bed as me. We cuddle in bed and whenever I attempt a more romantic gesture, she rebuffs me in a firm but friendly way. It just doesn't make sense. She even admits that she wishes she was more logical, and while intoxicated she has cried to me that she wishes she “wasn’t so stupid by going for idiot guys” or that perhaps if I would put up more of a Challenge she would be attracted to me romantically again.

I have tried hitting the reset button by ceasing to be friends with Violet for a few months at a time with no contact. But over the past month I began talking to her again about our relationship, making my intentions obvious. Her response now is that the two of us should get married at 40 if we are both still single (I’m 28 and she’s 25). This is beyond infuriating, and 95% of the other women I’ve been with I would’ve stopped caring about ages ago.

Other than not talking to Violet, do you have any coaching for me?

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Hi Corkie,

Using the word SKIM when it comes to “The System” is probably the biggest mistake of your life. My material must be MEMORIZED. You have to be able to get up in front of Toastmasters and talk about any part of my book for eight minutes. When you are able to do that, you’ll know you have my techniques down. And having them DOWN COLD is the only way you will become a success with women. Look at it this way: you can’t skim calculus. You can’t skim plastic surgery. It just won’t work. The same applies to “The System.”

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