He Has To Deal With A “Blocker” Here?
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(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).
Hey Doc,
My question is about something you haven’t covered before: dealing with intelligent blockers.
I’m a good-looking, 23-year-old man who happens to like two girls. My roommate – I’ll call him David -- who’s not as good-looking as me but definitely has more going on in his career, is also interested in them. I believe that David uses dirty, underhanded tactics to manipulate and convince these girls that there’s something wrong with me. The tactics involve repeatedly telling these girls by e-mail and telephone that I am always upset and depressed and that I’m childlike and really sweet (which I am not). The upshot is that David is convincing these women that I’m a wuss, which I most definitely am not. I know he’s doing this because the girls have repeatedly asked me if I was okay and if I was unhappy when there was no reason for it. Doc, I know it’s him who’s doing this. And I’m sure this private messaging business is not the only strategy in his arsenal.
David is a coward. What he does, he does subtly, so subtly that he would never admit it, but it’s obvious enough that I notice it.
So how do I cope with these politics of envy? If anyone knows how to deal with this, it’s you, Doc. Do I fight fire with fire, ignore the issue, or take it up directly with David?
I have read your book and memorized it. In fact, the chapter on Blockers has received special attention recently, but I’m still puzzled. A lot of people criticize you for being too harsh, but I respect that you tell us guys straight out how it is with women, and a lot of men need to wake up and follow your directions.
Greame - who knows he’s not being paranoid
Have you checked out Doc's latest FREE video: CAN HER FLIRTING BE FORGIVEN OR IS IT A DEALBREAKER?
Hi Greame,
Actually I DO deal with blockers in my book – every species of blocker – but you have to develop the ability to piece together my various techniques in order to recognize all those blockers, and you haven’t quite reached that stage. You haven’t penetrated my principles deeply enough yet. You will though, the more time you spend with the Dating Dictionary.
Now, I know that you like these two girls, but you’re omitting the most important question: how much do the girls like you? The fact that you don’t tell me this shows me that you haven’t really got my book memorized.
I know you feel bad that David uses dirty tactics to undermine you. Which means you always have to be prepared for whatever gets thrown at you, and you do that by adhering to my tactics. But don’t worry -- David’s not really convincing these girls of anything. He’s trying to convince them of something. What you don’t realize, pal, is that the more this guy puts you down, the more he’s actually helping you. Because the intelligent girl says to herself, “Why is somebody always knocking this guy when he’s not really a wuss?” And you only want an intelligent girl anyway, don’t you, Greame?
What you have to do in this situation is go with the flow. Let all this crap roll off you like water off a duck’s back. Defuse all the negative stuff said about you with the greatest weapon of all -- HUMOR. You’re not supposed to defend yourself here, and you don’t have to. When you put on a serious defense of yourself, you give this blocker credence.
As soon as you get some money together, you have to get away from this creep. You don’t want to live with a sneak and a traitor, do you? That’s what this guy is. As soon as you can, get your own place or get him out of yours.
Most men get goofy when it comes to relationships. In other words, some guys will backbite you and they don’t see anything wrong with it. Heck, if you came straight out and asked David if he was blocking you, he’d probably tell you no. He’d probably say, “Oh, no, Greame, I was just kidding! You know I like you – I’m your roommate!”
How do you cope with the politics of envy? Like I said earlier, by being FUNNY. When one of the girls asks if you’re depressed all the time, you say, “Yes, I am. I’ve got so many girls after me that I can’t take it anymore and I don’t know what to do about it. The only time I’m not depressed is when I’m around you.” In other words, make a joke out of it and move on.
Should you fight fire with fire, ignore David or confront him head on? None of the above. All three of your guesses about how to handle this situation are wrong.
Let me tell you something, buddy. Doc Love is not harsh. Reality and Truth are harsh. But most people – and I mean most guys -- live in a bubble. They are run by their emotions and don’t see Reality when it comes to women. And when you look at their love lives, the divorce rate, and how often they get dumped by women, you’ll see that all I’m trying to do is coach them to face Reality.
Remember, guys: never let them know that they got to you.
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