Hey Doc,

Taylor lives right down the block from me. Her family recently had my family over for a barbecue. I’d wanted to ask Taylor out ever since, so today I decided to go for a walk and stop by her house and finally ask her out. Once I got there we talked for about 15 or 20 minutes. First we talked about college and how she’s taking classes all summer long. She also said her teacher freaked her out today because he told the class they were behind on material and would be covering a lot more in the coming weeks. She also told me she has a big test next week that she was nervous about (I don’t blame her, because anatomy and physiology are not the easiest courses).

Anyway, I finally got around to asking if Taylor wanted to go out next week. She asked what day and let me know she has work and classes Monday through Thursday and Sunday. So I said “Let’s go on Friday.” Her answer wasn’t exactly what I wanted. She said maybe, but that she would have to see how she does on her test first. Before I left I got her number so that I could call her and find out if Friday was going to work.

What should I do? I feel that if Taylor really was into me and wanted to go out she would have just said yes, and would have found a way to get her studying done. Do you think Taylor is just being a responsible student and truly does want to find out how she does on her test before making plans? Even if she bombs the test I can’t imagine that would mean she would clear her schedule as a result and only study for the rest of the weekend.

As you can see I am doubtful of what Taylor said, and don’t want to call her about the date I proposed just so that she can say no. Should I call her and see how she did on her test, or is this test thing just an excuse so Taylor didn’t have to say no to me in person?

Fitz - who’s confused as hell

Hi Fitz,

First of all, it was a HUGE MISTAKE to ask Taylor if she wanted to go out with you next week. And this tells me right off the bat that you don’t have my book. Guy, you don’t come right out and ask a girl out. You ask her for her phone number. To you Psych majors, asking for a girl’s phone number is the first test of her Interest Level. If you ask a girl directly if she wants to go out, you’re asking about her feelings, which you’re not supposed to do. If she said yes, you would have to ask for her phone number anyway.

The point is that you would just cut to the chase by asking for the phone number. Then you wait a week to call her. Why? Because every other guy calls within the first two days. Secondly, the initial stages of the relationship are a cat and mouse game. Therefore, you have to go in SLOWLY and show that you’re different from all the other guys who are after her.

As soon as Taylor told you that she had to see how she did on her test before committing to the date, you should have WITHDRAWN THE OFFER by saying “I see that you’re busy with school, so give me your number and I’ll call you after you’re done with the test.” Whether the test is legitimate or not, you don’t want to be right in the middle of it, causing her additional stress.

Then you said you were going to call Taylor to verify the date -- another no-no. Calling back to verify a date NEVER works. Furthermore, you have... 

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