Hey Doc,

I’ve been reading your columns and listening to your radio shows for quite some time and I completely rely on your judgment!

I’ve been dating Abby, an amazing girl, for two and a half years now and we are still very much in love. I am not the type of guy that would immediately say “She’s the one,” and this is mainly due to the fact that I am not quite sure if true love exists. However, Abby makes me believe that true love does exist.

Even so, something has happened that might put an end to our relationship. Abby is moving to Europe for a year to study there. Since Europe is so far away, I am not sure we will be able to meet often and I am afraid that this long distance relationship might ruin us.

We’ve tried to discuss it, but we both get too emotional and always postpone the discussion. I joined an online discussion group where I met many other people going through long distance relationships, and the majority of them ended up separated because it has been too difficult to be without the other person. Only a small portion of the people I’ve spoken to said that the time they’ve spent apart -- in two different cities or countries -- actually made them closer and want to take the next step in their relationship.

Doc, I am really confused because I can’t hear my own thoughts and understand my own feelings right now. I love Abby, but I am also scared.

I would be happy to hear your thoughts on this situation.

Ronnie - who doesn’t know if he can last for a year

Hi Ronnie,

I don’t believe that you actually do completely rely on my judgment. If you did, you would have gotten your hands on “The System” as soon as you heard about me, and certainly after you’d read one or two of my columns and heard my radio shows. 

So you’re contradicting yourself here, my friend. You are missing so much of my core philosophy by not having my book that it shows you are operating with only a small percentage of the wisdom you could have when dealing with the opposite sex. It’s a tremendous deficit for you, guy.

When you say that you don’t believe that true love exists, you’re lying to yourself, Ronnie. True love does exist. And you’re scared to death by how much in love with Abby you are. This is the message that’s coming across loud and clear between the lines. So get real, my friend.

If Abby is moving to Europe for a year to study, it means you’re OUT. How are you going to stay close to someone who is 10,000 miles away? You can’t do it, and it’s not going to happen. Think about it: Abby is going to leave the love of her life for a whole year and take the chance that some other girl might capture you? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Oh, yeah, this girl is all over you!” The truth is that Abby is the one who doesn’t believe in true love – not you. Think about that, too.

Just the fact that Abby wants to leave you for an entire year – and she made that decision long ago — shows that you are indeed finished. This girl doesn’t value you. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “There are 50,000 colleges in America, and she couldn’t find one to stay near you?”

If you and Abby can’t discuss this move without getting emotional, it demonstrates that after two and a half years you and she do not have a relationship. One of the most important factors in a relationship is the ability to sit down calmly and work it out when you have that first disagreement. You and Abby don’t have that ability. But you don’t understand that because you don’t have my book.

Now let me get this straight. You read all of my articles, you listen to my radio show, then you go and join a discussion group – but you don’t buy “The System?” What sense does that make? And by the way, the percentage of people who want to take their relationship to the next level when it’s long distance is .001. In other words, it doesn’t happen.

Of course you can’t hear your own feelings and thoughts right now, Ronnie. You’re in a state of shock.

Reality has finally slapped you in the face. The Reality Factor is in my book, but you don’t understand it.

Long distance relationships are discussed at length, but you obviously aren’t acquainted with how to handle them and what they mean because you don’t have the book. But you squandered money on Abby for two and a half long years when you should have bought lottery tickets instead. Two and a half years of Abby was all a waste of money and time. To you Psych majors, when a girl drops a guy, all the money you spent on her up until that point has been a waste.

What’s worse is that you haven’t learned from this situation because you still don’t have my book. You should be scared – because you don’t have “The System.” All of the answers you desperately need are in those pages. Think of it this way: you listen to my radio shows and read my columns but for a lousy $99 you don’t go to the source of power and wisdom – “The System.” Do you know how much more money than $99 you wasted on Abby all these years? All that money went straight down the toilet, dude. And you’re going to feel it soon, because within 45 days Abby is going to be making out with some European stud.

Remember, guys: if she wants to live far away from you for a year, you’re out.